In two weeks, a friend and I will run the Sporting Life 10K. I’m hoping to tackle one of my 31-for-31 goals (running a 10K in under 1:05) and also set a regular running habit for the summer in the process.
Here’s the thing, though – I generally HATE running. I was always last-picked for team sports that involved any sort of quick movement, and the only reason I joined cross country was because it was a no-cut team (hat tip to my dad for always running the last few hundred meters of the course with me to get me across that line). I also have ridiculous shin and hip problems that flare up when I’m nowhere near home on a run (thankfully I carry subway tokens now as a precaution).
But I also LOVE running. Nothing tops the satisfaction of accomplishing a goal, and getting bling at the end of a race is always a nice bonus. So basically, it’s a complicated relationship.
And like anything I do, there’s generally a solid internal monologue accompanying it. So, I present to you – my brain, when running.
Ok! 10K! I can do this!
I am running! This is amazing!
Polite nod to passing runner. We are part of a tribe! A tribe of runners! Hello good sir!
Alright, on the trail. Wow, I need to come to the lake more often, it’s really nice down here.
Keep forgetting to breath. Steady.
The Map My Run lady is so nice. She sounds very pleasant and I appreciate her subtle encouragement to move my ass a little faster.
Seriously, shoelace again? I need to get velcro.
Do they still make velcro??
I really hate this song. I need a better playlist.
Oo, I like this one. *starts singing in between wheezes*
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to newwww landddds
I am so sweaty right now. This is gross.
I should plan meals for this week. Lots of salads.
I wonder if my face is as red as I think it is?
Hmm. That runner I just passed looked awfully alarmed at my appearance.
I think Map My Run lady is asleep at the wheel. There’s no way I haven’t run 7K by now.
I could eat a burger right about now
Oh thank goodness, she’s back. Walk time!
MY SHIN IS BURNING
I really wish I could get a dog
I should find a running partner
Everything hurts so bad, why am I doing this?
9 km! 1 to go!
I feel nauseous
The Map My Run lady is a smug jerk. I know my current pace is slow. Let’s see you run this distance and not slow down when you’re tired. I DIDN’T SLEEP WELL, OK?
Do I actually want a running partner? I don’t want them seeing how red-faced I get
Seriously what is with my shoelaces??
My street! I’m almost home!
I’m really thirsty
RUN DONE! Time to stretch.
Screw stretching, let’s just nap on the floor a bit