The How-To Guide to a Proper Night Out in Cambodia

Step 1: Get up at 4 a.m. to see the sunrise at Angkor Wat (more on that later). Ensure it’s a cloudy, rainy morning so that the sun doesn’t appear.

Step 2: Spend the day walking around Angkor Wat and jungle temples in the drizzle and 40 degree heat.

Step 3: Eat curry for lunch. Spicy foods cool you down.

Step 4: Follow lunch with an ice cream. No explanation necessary.

Step 5: Instead of napping upon return to the hotel, have a pool party. Accidentally swallow half the pool when tipped off the shoulders of someone during an attempt at making a pyramid.

Step 6: Dinner. Eat something delicious (easy to do). Again, no explanation necessary.

Step 7: Take advantage of the buy one-get one deals at every bar in town. Celebrate something (such as a friend’s birthday!).

Step 8: Take part in an impromptu tug-of-war match in the street.

Step 9: Eventually call it a night upon realization you’ve been up for 22 hours. On tuk-tuk ride back, witness the near-death of a man on a motorbike as he crashes into your ride.

Step 10: Moderate amount of sleep.

Step 11: Coffee.

Step 12: Take a boat tour to Tonle Sap Lake (also, more on that later). Go in the dry season, when water levels are extremely low. Prepare for the smell of the water (think heated sewage). Get in an accident when a boat speeds up behind yours and crashes into the back, severing the propeller.  Hop onto that boat, full of Asian tourists who stare at your paleness in admiration and your shorts in disapproval. Try to avoid getting the water that’s spraying over the side on your face. Marvel at how ridiculous the last 24 hours have been. Repeat.

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2 thoughts on “The How-To Guide to a Proper Night Out in Cambodia

  1. Every single one of these steps made me laugh! I’m trying to picture you in a human pyramid – you’re supposed to hold your breath when you’re in water, not inhale it! The tug of war match sounds like fun and why were the Asian tourists staring at your shorts???

    Take care!

    1. I do know you’re not supposed to inhale the water (particularly in this area of the world), but I wasn’t anticipating being dunked in at that moment! And my shorts are short. That or they’re admiring my pasty glow…my white skin is coveted here…

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